sluttyoliveoil:

once my friend was waiting for her mom to pick her up and she called her mom and her mom said “im on my way, the traffic is just slow, im coming” and my friend went “mom i called the house phone”

(via brigggggles)

(Source: merbearedie, via may-mona)

lonelywhiteasian:

no really i’m funny i swear please stay

(via voler-bene)

i have two moods:

• touch me
• don’t touch me 

(Source: cheerupsmelly, via todayfeelslikeamonday)

castielofasgard:

(via vive-le-reve)

thirlweed:

imperriefabulous:

thirlweed:

how can i say “i want to kill you” to someone without looking rude

i would much rather my hands close around your air passage ways as you fall into a never ending slumber at my own hand.

is this ed sheeran

(via sirens-pierce-all-alexandrias)

satans-fabulous-blog:

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks

That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.

(via whenyoureolder-youwillunderstand)

threadsinthistapestry:

buzzfeed:

Raven understood what being a teenager was really like.

The last one killed me

(via s-sassypants)

pityreblogs:

when i’m old i’m going to say “or as they said in my day “yolo swag””

(via diverg4nt)

anahyproductions:

amporasses:

oh my god hes called stitch because hes what pulls their family together

W H A T 

(via sandrarico)